If you only knew...

If you only knew, I would give you the world, except I can't explain the rules. I would let you sit on the couch every now and then, if you absolutely stayed off of it otherwise. I would let you snuggle (even under the covers!) to watch reruns of West Wing, if you never jumped on the bed when I wasn't around. I would play tug-o-war almost every hour, if you never put your teeth on my skin. I would let you off leash if you always came when I called. But these things are not within the realm of a likely relationship for us.

Of the example items I described, I want to note that I do think some of these are more doable than others. I definitely believe that over time I can convince you the game of tug-o-war only includes teeth on the knotted rope. In fact, I actually believe I could teach you each of these items, but the cost-benefit is mostly me cost - in time and energy training - and you benefiting. I can tell you right now, it was painful enough even to type that I would let you off leash, there is very very very little chance I would ever consider it. The cost of off leash to me is very high, way too risky, and I believe we can have loads of fun romping in the woods with you physically connected to me by a piece of nylon... its perfectly wonderful that way.